“This is Pat Summerall along with John Madden bringing you the Most Annoying Dog in the World (MADW) competition wrap-up for week 9. It was certainly an exciting start to week, wouldn’t you say, John?”
“It certainly was, Pat. As our viewers know, the driving course has been substantially increased this year favoring Jessie who dominates in the Barking Incessantly in the Car, Barking at Anything That Moves and the Get Off My Lawn categories, and she took a surprising lead.”
“It didn’t last, though, did it?”
“No Pat, it didn’t. By midweek she had dropped back to a solid 2nd place behind Cooper. No surprise there. Cooper dominates in nearly every Annoyance Category in the competition. It’s hard to imagine any of the other contestants being more annoying than him to capture the lead and maintain it for long.”
“That’s right, John. Both Jessie and newcomer Harna battled hard for 2nd place. Harna has found her niche in the Cooper Annoys Me Greatly category of which she is the sole participant amongst the competitors. Sadly, new to the games, she began to wane toward weeks end and fell to 3rd place behind Jessie who showed determination in her area of expertise right up to the end.”
“She was tied briefly with Bummer at that point, wasn’t that right Pat?”
“Indeed, John. Bummer, who dominates in the Sleep in the Middle of the Bed and Refuse to Move and the Thinks Everyone Wants to Play With Him Thereby Scaring the Hell Out of People categories and the Jumps On You and Punches You in the Nether Parts category, which he shares with Harna, was finally able to push past her and take a solid 3rd place.
“And we have another newcomer to the games, don’t we Pat?”
“Yes we do, John. Noné is strong in the Thinks Barking Will Accomplish What Needs Doing and the No Concept of the Word Move categories. If, in the future, the Obsessed with Squirrels category is reinstated in the games, as many want, especially Bummer, she will surely dominate and give Cooper a much needed run for his money.”
“What about our final two competitors, Pat?”
“Well, John, as you know Biscuit rarely displays any desire to be annoying other than the Barks While Eating to Fend Off Nonexistent Others Who Want to Steal the Food category, which he dominates, and Barking For Cookies in which he competes with Cooper.
Girly, who doesn’t have an annoying bone in her body, will, once again, firmly take last place which seems to suit her just fine. Care to sum it up for us, John?”
“Gladly, Pat. As the weeks competition drew to a close on Saturday, Cooper, a versatile competitor across all categories of annoyance as he has shown over and over in this competition, was not to be denied. He had pulled ahead early in the week and firmly held the lead as he crossed beneath the checkered flag. As he has done in the past, he pulled the flag from the wall and played keep-away with it for over an hour, holding up the final count.
Jessie easily held on to her 2nd place position while Bummer overtook Harna for the 3rd place position. It should be noted here that Bummer is beginning to train in the Barking Incessantly in the Car and Barking For Cookies category which will place him in competition with Cooper and Biscuit and, if the MADW does reinstate the Obsessed with Squirrels category, we may be seeing his position in the rankings change going forward.”
“I understand Bummer has only managed Whining For Cookies thus far. Is that correct?”
“I’ve heard the same, Pat, but remember, Whining For Cookies and Nudging For Cookies have both been allowed in the Barking For Cookies category under MADW rules.”
“I see. This should prove interesting as the competition continues.”
“Harna settled for the 4th place position with the grace and dignity she always shows though she had to be restrained from chasing Cooper into the dressing area.
Noné left the competition early to chase a squirrel and was later seen barking at the base of the tree, expecting it to come down for her. Despite this, she still captured 5th place.
Biscuit finish 6th and Girly, who clearly doesn’t give a damn, brought up the rear once again in 7th.
“And there you have it, folks, week 9 of the Most Annoying Dog in the World (MADW) competition. See you all next Sunday.”
